


reincarnation

by danketsu



Category: THE iDOLM@STER
Genre: M/M, Pining, can be read as canon universe or non-hxj au, haruna-centric, teenage boy thoughts, the joys of retail
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-17
Updated: 2020-07-17
Packaged: 2021-03-05 06:08:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,129
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25345972
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/danketsu/pseuds/danketsu
Summary: Haruna's probably just bored and wants somebody to talk to, that has to be it. Sora so kindly informed him that he might be looking for something called a 'friend', and if he's honest with himself, really truly honest? He might just be a little, tiny bit... lonely.
Relationships: Akiyama Hayato/Wakazato Haruna, served with a side of kyomino and tsukusora
Comments: 4
Kudos: 11





	reincarnation

**Author's Note:**

> this is posted to celebrate today, sidem's 6th anniversary! happy 6th, sidem. i love you more than i've ever loved anything! the happiness, the laughs, the tears, and most importantly the love and encouragement i've gotten from this series in the past 6 years is unrivaled to any other force in my life. for the next 6 years and the 6 after that and the 6 after that, ill continue to do my best to support idolm@ster sidem in EVERY way i possibly can. continuing to walk down this glorious ro@d by your side is the happiest i've ever been! i love you! you make me proud every day ♥️
> 
> so with that, please enjoy! youve heard of 19gumi and 20gumi and even sweetsgumi but what about retailgumi. have you ever considered retailgumi. have you

If a customer takes a shirt from the display at the front of the store and topples the entire stack _one more time_ , Haruna's going to lose it.

Maybe Haruna already _has_ begun to lose it, actually. He feels his eye twitch every time somebody enters the store. His life force is slowly being drained. He's taken like four bathroom breaks since he's gotten here and it's barely been two hours. He'd feel bad about it if both of his coworkers weren't about a billion times worse than him about that sort of thing.

There were three of them that worked the evening shift on any given night in their little store. Kyoji was the oldest technically, even though he's, like, barely two years older than Haruna, so he was usually 'left in charge'. Which Haruna calls complete bullshit on. Kyoji's always leaving to go and flirt with the pretty guy who worked at the florist two doors down or sit in the break room and play video games Haruna's never even heard of.

It's not like Haruna can be annoyed, because he kind of does the exact same thing, but _still_. It's fun to rag on him about it so he doesn't mind. They get along pretty well, though, if Haruna had to admit it, because Kyoji doesn't care if he's on his phone while clocked in and sometimes they bond over playing Pokemon BGM over the loudspeaker. They're cool. 

The other coworker was Sora, who he's also cool with. Sora's been there longer than both Kyoji and Haruna, so he gets to do the fun jobs like drawing little title cards with prices and descriptions for everything in the store. He's super talented with art and designing and other stuff Haruna doesn't understand, so he gets it done pretty fast which leaves him with just as much free time as Haruna and Kyoji. So most of his time is spent jotting down poems in his notebook that Haruna is _forbidden_ from reading without permission or texting his boyfriend. Or maybe even jotting down poems to his boyfriend in his notebook, which is a truly wild thought. 

Haruna doesn't mind this job _that_ much in the first place, since so much of it is just 'wipe this down' or 'put out more inventory' and 'oh God Haruna please stop talking'. And that's easy enough, usually, as mind-numbing as it is.

He does try his best, though. Really. As much as he likes getting paid for the easiest job in the world, he does kind of feel bad if he just stands around _all_ day. Just standing around for most of it is fine. He figures a solid hour of work in his eight hours of being there evens things out. Probably.

Today is super dead. He couldn't work hard even if he wanted to. Apparently there's a festival happening on the other side of the city, so everywhere that isn't _there_ is a ghost town. Their only customers since noon have been grandmas who never buy anything, the ones that just derive a sick sort of pleasure by messing up Haruna's stacks of clothes and asking him what the prices are on things that _already have the prices on them come on lady_. 

He's leaned over the counter, watching some woman who might be his old math teacher open a new bottle of lotion to test out when there's clearly a bottle marked 'tester' about an inch away from it. Haruna sighs.

He's so bored. 

He's literally so desperate for something to do that he's considering pulling his homework out of his backpack and giving that a go, which is definitely a new low for him. Kyoji's in the back room, supposedly taking inventory, but Haruna would bet that he's just playing a mobage on his phone. Sora's sitting on the floor next to Haruna, also on his phone, supposedly studying up on how other stores did their displays so he can make theirs high quality.

When Sora actually tried, he made really cool art for their signs or the board outside and always stacked things in cool patterns that Haruna just didn't really have an eye for, but he'd been in that spot on the floor for the past two hours. Plus, if Haruna peeked over his shoulder at just the right angle, he could see the corner of a doujin on Sora's screen.

But he really can't be bothered right now, so he'll just let Sora keep pretending to be busy. And he'll let Kyoji keep pretending to take inventory. And for himself, he can just… keep watch. Yeah. Haruna will keep watch. 

This store would fall apart without him, for sure.

Haruna rests his chin back on his hand and goes back to keeping watch very diligently. His legs are kind of falling asleep in this position and the rest of him might follow suit soon, but in the quiet of the store, it's easy for his mind to wander. 

He wants to quit his job here. He probably _should_ quit his job here. Maybe try for something a little more challenging or engaging. Maybe someplace busier or closer to school or that paid better, but in all honesty, it was kind of nice to just coast along like this. To clock in, work his shift, and then go home and not think about work at all. His mom would definitely scold him if she knew he just thought that, but it was true. 

It's not like he can afford to really be distracted by a Real Job™ while still in high school. Especially while still doing Not Great™ in high school. For the second year in a row too, but at least he probably won't fail the year this time around. Probably. One would certainly think that since he already took all these classes last year, he'd be doing a little better, but he feels like he's doing worse...? It stresses him out to look at his grades, so he kinda just… doesn't. So that's fun.

Even if you take school out of it, Haruna's not doing particularly great. He had an actual relationship going for a while a few months ago, but that broke off when the guy accused Haruna of not being interested. And Haruna really _wasn't_ all that interested, but he still felt guilty about it for weeks.

He hated seeing people cry. He hated _making_ people cry.

This job is the most exciting part of his life, which is incredibly depressing. He twirls a pen in his hand, "Sora-san, would you date me? Be as brutally honest as I know you can be.”

The grandma shopping in the aisle across from the register looks at him like he just asked if _she_ would date him, which he would _never,_ she's not even his type, but it's fine because Sora doesn't even grace him with a glance, "You're not my type, Haruna-kun"

Haruna pouts, "I bet Kyoji-san would date me…"

Kyoji's tired voice sounds from the backroom immediately, "Wakazato, go sweep something."

He lets his forehead fall dramatically back down onto the counter and it hurts enough to close his eyes and go back to doing absolutely nothing. He'll carefully pretend like he didn't hear what Kyoji said, because if he has to sweep right now he might literally die in real life for real. For real.

He hears the bell on the door chime when the grandma leaves without buying anything and probably messing up two more stacks of t-shirts that Haruna will have to painstakingly refold later, and he sighs again. Louder, as obnoxious as possible, in the hopes that at least one of his coworkers will take pity on him and engage him in conversation.

Sora's about to take one for the team and talk to him, Haruna can feel it, before the bell chimes again. He sits up straight and is about to call out a greeting before he stops and realizes who it is and changes his greeting accordingly, "Oh! Minori-san, welcome to our humble store~"

It's the really pretty guy who works at the florists, holding a bundle of flowers. He's super nice, too, and will definitely want to talk to Haruna, which is a huge win. He really won the gacha for who could've come into the store just now. He might've said Minori's name too loud, though, because there's a crash from the backroom and some weird shuffling sounds before Kyoji appears looking disheveled. 

Haruna can barely hold his laugh in. 

"Hello Haruna-kun! And Sora-kun!" Minori greets happily, immediately brightening the entire mood of the store and Haruna could kiss him if Kyoji wouldn't kill him for it. Minori's gaze turns to Kyoji and suddenly he smiles even brighter, if that's even possible, "Kyoji! Wow, the whole gang's here, today, huh?"

Haruna's desperate for human contact so he's not gonna let Minori and Kyoji do their flirting-but-not-really thing they always do. Not today. He'll monopolize all of Minori-san or whoever comes in here's time if he's gotta. He leans forward even more, "Why're you gracing us with your presence? I haven't seen you in, like, a full week! A full week, Minori-san!"

Minori plays along easily, cuz' he's the _best_ , "Ah, I know, my life has been in shambles since I saw you last, Haruna-kun. If only our paths would cross more!"

"If only…" Haruna nods solemnly, before popping up again excitedly after remembering his question from earlier, "Oh! Minori-san, I have a really important question. would you date me?" he spares a glance back to Kyoji, who is eyeing him cautiously, "Or anybody in this store right now? Wh-"

Kyoji's hand is covering his mouth in less than a second, forcing Haruna into silence with a death grip. Haruna struggles uselessly.

"We already decided nobody will ever date you, Wakazato," Kyoji says through his teeth, holding Haruna in a mild headlock which is _messing up his headband please Kyoji-san I'm so sorry-_

Minori's eyes are decidedly zeroed in on Kyoji's forearms, "Boys, boys, let's not fight. Haruna-kun isn't unlovable, though I am interested as to how the topic of dating came up…"

Kyoji's arms release Haruna obediently with Minori's command, because he's _whipped_. Haruna rubs his neck; Kyoji is definitely stronger than he looks.

Sora's head pops out from behind the counter, "Not to interrupt whatever is happening here, but I'm interrupting," he nods at the bundle of flowers Minori's holding, "Are those for us?"

"Oh!" Minori startles, like he just remembered he's not here to just chat with his not-boyfriend and two bored retail workers, "These are all leftovers from the past month and I was wondering if you might want to display them? To bring a little more life into the store? They don't really match, but I figured flowers were flowers, so-"

They're all yellow, so Haruna figures they match pretty well, but Minori seems troubled by the fact that his bouquet isn't as perfect as he wanted it to be. Kyoji's already shaking his head and taking the bundle into his arms over the counter, because _whiiiiipped_ , "They're, um, they're really beautiful, Minori-san. Thank you."

Kyoji can't even look Minori in the eyes, which is disgustingly cute. Minori beams and Haruna's pretty sure they've both completely forgotten anybody else is in the room, or maybe even the world. He feels like a third wheel to a couple that isn't even dating yet and it _stings_.

He really has reached a new low. 

Later that night, he's laying in bed, thinking about it more, for some reason. Probably in order to avoid the pile of homework mocking him from the other side of the room. But even wallowing in his own misery is better than doing equations.

If Kyoji and Minori started dating for real, then he'd be the only single person in his life. Other than, like, his mom but she had a kid so she's at least one step ahead of him. He's not gonna let Kyoji have a pretty and kind boyfriend before he does. It's just not allowed. Period. 

He's probably just bored and wants somebody to talk to, that's gotta be it.

Sora so kindly informed him that he might be looking for something called a 'friend', and if he's honest with himself, truly honest? He might just be a tiny, little bit... lonely.

School sucks and work sucks and his only friends are his coworkers and his _mom_. He has acquaintances at school, sure, and sometimes they'll go and eat after school or have a karaoke party, but there's nobody he's close with, especially outside of the context of 'hey let's be friends so school isn't a complete hellhole'. And on Valentines, he's gotten confessions before from guys and girls alike, but even if he accepts, the relationships go nowhere. He either likes them too much or not enough, and they usually get annoyed or bored after a month or two.

Two is his record, as of right now, but it's not like he's counting or anything.

He falls into a fitful sleep, his room light still on when he wakes up groggily before his alarm only a handful of hours later. The sun hasn't even come up yet, but his mom already left for work so there's nothing else to do but drag himself to school.

Shit, he really does need a hobby.

He makes it to school on time for the first time in, like, three weeks, so Haruna's in a good mood. His hands are behind his head and he's humming to the song in his head, which definitely isn't the theme to the drama his mom has been watching the past month or so. Definitely not.

He's actually early, which has _never_ happened before. Sora would be proud. ...Well, maybe not. Minori-san would definitely be proud, though. 

He does not under any circumstances want to go to class, though, because he's a little early for school and just a tiny bit lonely, not losing his entire mind. The unfinished homework is forgotten on his desk at home, anyways, so there's little more to do than find a spot under a tree outside of the gates and fuck around on his phone for 20 minutes before he's forced to actually go to class. Or else risk spending his lunch hour in detention. Again.

He's so early, there's still other students milling around outside and chatting. Some are throwing around a frisbee, which looks really fun, but they look like third years he might've been in the same class as last year so Haruna's not gonna throw himself into that mix. There's groups of girls scattered about the grass, giggling and exchanging snacks and that seems really fun, too, but that would be an even weirder mix to throw himself into, probably. 

Everybody's with their friends or talking to teachers or on the phone, and it makes him feel like even more of a loner than he already is. But it doesn't depress him as much as he expects it to, surprisingly. The thought just washes a kind of calm, quiet feeling over him that he's not used to. It's not like he wants to be the most popular guy in school, and he's relatively cool with floating through high school until it's over. And holy shit, does he want it to be over.

It's not particularly miserable, and he really does have friends, he swears, but it's so _boring_ . Coming to the same place every single day and doing nothing for eight hours and then leaving is so mind-numbing. At least at work he gets _paid_ to sit around for eight hours and do nothing.

It's like the retrospective mood from last night has increased tenfold after a shitty night's sleep. He could totally write poetry about how he feels right now. Maybe he'll ask Sora for some pointers at work later.

Failing a grade last year was… definitely a wake up call. The look on his mom's face during that parent-teacher meeting is etched into his memory like a knife. He doesn't think he'll ever forget that. He tries not to miss school more than once a week, now, and he at least thinks about his homework sometimes. He's not doing great, but he's put in a little more effort. He's not perfect, far from it, but his mom looks less stressed lately, and his meager income from his job helps her a bit as well. That small sense of accomplishment is enough to satisfy him even if he's helpless with this whole "School" thing. 

He's still so fucking bored, though.

He really does need a hobby. Maybe he can convince Kyoji to learn, like, woodworking with him. Maybe Sora will teach him how to draw if he begs long enough. The most important thing is breaking this rut he’s in. He'd join a club for the hell of it, if he had the time to spare.

He's gotta find some actual friends, though. That's the first step.

The fully risen sun is beating down on him uncomfortably from this spot, and the sweat on the back of his neck distracts him from his thoughts. He scans the courtyard for a better spot, one where he preferably won't go blind or get a sunburn. Right before he decides nope, not worth it, not gonna bother moving when it's only 15 more minutes until class starts, something catches his eye.

More specifically, _someone_ catches his eye.

It's one of the only other people other than himself that's alone in the entire courtyard. He knew his name because they were in the same grade now, and it was… hm. Akiyama Ha...Haruto? H… Haruna? Was his name Haruna? It's probably not Haruna. Haruna tells himself he'd definitely remember if he had a classmate named Haruna. He kinda hopes he's the only Haruna in the whole school, cuz that's _his_ name. 

But back to, uh, Akiyama-kun. Maybe. 

He was sitting under the shade of a tree and holding an acoustic guitar, stopping every minute or so to lean over the body of the guitar and jot something down in a notebook quickly before he forgets it. Haruna's eyes had just scanned over him before because his head was down, but now the back of his head was resting on the tree trunk and eyes in the sky, fingers plucking easily at the strings of the guitar without even looking, which is objectively really sick.

He looks like he's writing his own music, but Haruna had no idea there was someone like that in his school. His interest has piqued. Akiyama’s always been decidedly cute, Haruna's definitely seen him around and taken mental notice that there's a cute boy in his grade, but seeing him with a guitar makes Haruna's curiousity in him increase by, like, sixty percent. Actually, no. Sixty-nine percent. Yeah. 

While he's semi-admiring his classmate, the school bell rings and the ringing sound makes him jump. He didn't realize so much of his attention was on the new cutest boy in Haruna’s grade, but it's whatever. They're not in the same class and they've never said a single word to each other, and it'll probably stay that way. Haruna stands up and stretches his hands over his head, before shoving them into his pockets and making his way towards the front entrance with the entire rest of the student body.

He spares a final glance over at his classmate packing his guitar into its case.

Haruna really hopes his name isn't Haruna. He refuses to let himself have a budding crush on a name-stealer.

Despite the excitement from the morning, the afternoon at work is just as boring as usual. A grandma toppled a display of homemade locally-mixed decorative soap bars and now the entire store smells like lavender chamomile ocean breeze and it's really tugging at the beginning of a migraine. Haruna swears she did it to spite him personally. He _hates_ lavender chamomile ocean breeze. 

Kyoji pulled the short stick and was forced to clean it up earlier so he's "doing inventory" in the back again, and Haruna's just gonna let him, because that _sucks_. Sora has busied himself with redrawing all of the little cards that have the soap names written on them and are extremely necessary. Haruna watches as he cleanly prints 'Lavender Chamomile Ocean Breeze' on a card and then doodles a little lavender flower and a penguin next to the letters. 

Haruna pokes at Sora's shoulder, "Why're you drawing penguins? They can't fly so why would they be in an ocean breeze?"

"Penguins can swim, Haruna-kun," Sora answers over his shoulder, slower than usual, like he's talking to a baby, "It's an ocean-themed candle, so I'm drawing things that go in the ocean on it's card..."

"Can.... can penguins swim?"

It's a very slow day.

Later that evening when they're about an hour out from close, finally, and Haruna has learned way more penguin trivia then he ever thought he would know, he's retired to doodling his own penguins in a marching band on the back of a crumpled receipt. Kyoji's been organizing the pens in front of the register in rainbow order for the last thirty minutes, looking like he wants to die, and Sora's definitely reading doujins on his phone, not even bothering to pretend to work. 

It's great, really. Haruna can feel the bond the three are forming over wanting to do anything but work. This is the bond of working adults. Truly.

His penguin marching band isn't on the level of even Sora's littlest quickest doodles, but they're cute, and he's accepting them into his heart. One of the penguins he sketches out is gonna be playing drums, because that's easily the coolest instrument. The one before that was playing the trumpet, and the one before that was playing what was supposed to be a flute, but it ended up looking like a churro. He gives the drum penguin a donut shaped hat, because it's his favorite. 

The next penguin in line is going to have a guitar, even if he's pretty sure those aren't really used in marching bands, because they're cool and- wait holy shit he just remembered! Hot guitar classmate in the courtyard! He's gotta tell his coworkers! He's _gotta._

He sat back up straight and announced proudly, "Men, I have an announcement. I saw a cute guy today!"

Kyoji and Sora share a look that Haruna's definitely gonna pretend he doesn't see before Kyoji sighs and takes the bait, "Yeah? Where."

It's not even a question, it's a _please Wakazato-san stop talking I just want to go home_ but Haruna will not have any of it. This is important! 

"Yeah, I met him at school! He was playing a guitar! And I think writing his own music, isn't that really cool?" Haruna boasted, adding an air guitar to his sentence for emphasis. 

"What was his name."

Fuck. "Well, um… that's not really-"

"You don't know his name? Did you even meet him?" Kyoji looked bewildered. 

"Well. I mean… I didn't _quite_ catch his name, but. Um."

"Uh-huh."

"It was just really quick, and also from like twenty meters away, but like. He was really hot. Trust me. I could feel it. In my _soul_."

"Uh… huh."

He was losing steam really fast, and his audience was losing interest even faster. He waved his hands, "Guys! This could be the big break I needed! Sora-san's been dating his boyfriend for like ten years and-"

"Barely over a year, Haruna-kun. Barely over a year," Sora reminded gently, attention effectively off his little soap description haikus he's been penning down. 

"And Kyoji-san's been dating Minori-san in his mind for that long, too!" Haruna whined, not even bothering to react to Kyoji's jaw dropping with resistance, "I'm claiming a boy crush, too. I deserve it."

"Well, let us know how that goes," Sora started, "If you need any advice, I'd be happy to lend a hand. A good first step would be to actually talk to the object of your affections."

Haruna was about to insist that he _knows_ and he's _gonna_ , but the front door to the shop opens and the bell's chime interrupts his train of thought before he can get it out, which is rude. But, what's even _ruder_ is that the person that comes through the door, is the exact object of affections he was just mildly gushing about.

Holy guacamole. This is fate, it's gotta be.

Akiyama-kun was hot from twenty meters away and holding a guitar but, up close he's… really cute. Really, really cute, and Haruna is, equally, really fucked. 

It's been a solid six-ish hours since school got out, but he's still in his uniform, which is somehow _also_ cute to Haruna even though he wears the exact same one every single day. He's holding something in his hands, but Haruna's eyes move past whatever it is and right to his slender fingers and knuckles instead. They look smaller than Haruna's, which makes sense because their height difference is way bigger than he originally thought it was, which is another thing Haruna is immediately obsessed with. He wants to put his arm around his shoulders and kiss him on the cheek or something.

Haruna wonders if his fingertips are rough with calluses from playing guitar. He wants to reach and find out for himself.

He can feel Kyoji look up at him questioningly, because they definitely have an unspoken agreement in this store that Haruna should and would be the only one to greet customers, since he's by far the most comfortable with talking to people out of the three of them, but something in Haruna's expression must make Kyoji's gaze stick on him. 

Kyoji's eyes slide to the side to see who in the world was making the unfreezable Haruna freeze up like this, but he immediately warms up in a way Haruna's never seen him do for an actual customer. Just Minori and that kid from the theme park a few streets down, usually.

"Oh, Akiyama. What's up?"

Kyoji… knows Akiyama-kun. This is MAJOR news. Huge. Monumental. Ground-breaking, earth-shattering news.

The scene is progressing without him, though, and Haruna scrambles to catch up.

"Oh! Kyoji-san! I kinda got lost on the way here, sorry I showed up so late…" he rubs the back of his head, mussing his already slightly messy hair, and holds the thing in his hands out to Kyoji, who Haruna's not sure he's ever been more jealous of. All he can do is watch the scene in front of him play out.

"I brought your game back! Thanks for letting me borrow it, by the way," Kyoji took the game, apparently, from their visitor and nodded.

"Yeah, thanks," Kyoji was glancing up at his two coworkers and furrowing his brows at Haruna's probably wild expression before turning back to Akiyama-kun, "Thanks for coming all the way out here, too. These, uh, are my coworkers. Wakazato and Kitamura."

Haruna and Hayato make eye contact, then, and he's a mess. Holy shit. 

Hayato's eyes light with recognition, "Oh, Wakazato-kun? Y-"

Haruna snaps himself out of his cute-boy induced trance. And interrupts said cute-boy midsentence, because he's stupid. And has no self control, "Haruna! You can call me Haruna, uh, if you want to."

"Haruna-kun! We go to the same school, I think…? You're in Class D, right?" he sounds so happy when he says it, not even mad he got interuptted, he's like sunshine, what the fuck, "You can call me Hayato, if you want!"

Thank fuck. His name isn't Haruna.

Haruna's on cloud nine, he's on cloud _ten_ , he could stand here and stare at Hayato all day. Hayato's introducing himself to Sora now, and complimenting him on something. Probably his drawings or the collection of buttons on his lanyard or his sick haircut or something, but Haruna can't even listen because Hayato's so cute. He's so smiley and _happy_. Haruna wants to be smiley and happy with him.

"We should talk sometime at school, Haruna-kun?" Hayato turns to him again, and they make eye contact for the second time and it's really great, "I think I've seen you with Satou-kun before? And me and him are friends! So we could all hang out after school if nobody's working or has clubs or anything, maybe?"

Haruna has no idea who Satou-kun is. He feels betrayed that anybody he knows would know someone as cute as Hayato and _not tell him_ , but hanging out with Hayato sounds _amazing_ and that's a direct invitation if he's ever heard one, so he nods hard, "Yeah! I'll see you, uh, around. School."

He's never felt this awkward a day in his life, not even around exes or people confessing to him or in job interviews or even the time he answered the door in only boxers. He feels frazzled; panicked. Shy, even, which is so rare for him he doesn't even recognize the feeling. He can feel Kyoji and Sora's eyes on his face, but it's nothing compared to how Hayato's gaze feels on him. Hayato doesn't seem to notice, though, and just nods excitedly back like he doesn't notice Haruna having a mental breakdown right across from him. 

"It's kinda late, so I gotta start heading home, but it was really nice meeting you guys!" Hayato says, both hands going to the straps on the bag keeping his guitar on his back. He turns and bows slightly to Kyoji, "Thanks for letting me borrow your game! See ya next week!"

He turns to go back out the door, but not before sending a curious look at Haruna, "I'll you at school, right?"

Haruna has never wanted to go to school so bad in his life. All he can force out of his stupid mouth is a weak, "Y-yeah…"

They make eye contact for another second before Hayato blinks himself out of whatever thought made him pause. He turns back to Kyoji and waves quickly before ducking back out the door into the street. Haruna leans over the counter until the tip of Hayato's guitar has disappeared behind the display window, feeling like a dog watching it's owner leave for the day, before collapsing on the counter and emptying his lungs in the biggest groan that's ever come out of him.

Sora leans on the counter next to him and Haruna can hear the very unwelcome mirth in his voice, "So, Haruna-kun, tell us more about that crush, would you? Is he in your grade? Might he have green hair? Does he happen to borrow games from Kyoji-san?"

Kyoji looks bemused as well, and Haruna wants to _die_ , "I've never seen you like this…"

Haruna's gonna quit his job literally right now. He stomps on the ground twice in quick succession to let some energy out, making the rack holding souvenir keychains rattle, "Kyoji-san. Why. Why wouldn't you tell me that you're friends with my soulmate. Why would you do this to me."

"Considering that this is the first time you've spoken to him, I'm not sure if 'soulmate' is the correct word to use here," Sora laughed quietly, letting Haruna sink to the knees to hide his red face. He's so embarrassed. He could barely get a full sentence out! After Hayato was so _sweet_ , he was so nice and invited Haruna to hang out with him and Satou-kun, who he still has no idea that he's ever talked to before.

He's a mess, this is a mess. He should've put on his hot guy face that he practices in the mirror sometimes. He should've said more than, like, ten words. _He should've asked for his number._

Haruna's incredibly busy going through the five stages of grief right now, so he especially doesn't appreciate when Kyoji adds, "Akiyama-kun is really nice, I'm surprised you froze up so bad."

"That's not helpful! That's not even a little helpful!" he complains, not even bothering to mention how Kyoji can barely form a coherent thought around Minori either, because he's a nice person. 

He grabs Kyoji's hand pleadingly, making his best puppy eyes at him, "Kyoji-san! You gotta tell me everything you know about him! What's his favorite food?! What are his lifelong goals and ambitions?! Wh… Where does he live?!"

Haruna can hear Sora snickering behind him, but he has about 40 minutes before they close which means he has 40 minutes to become an expert in all things Hayato related. He's desperate. Kyoji looks very uncomfortable, "I don't know any of that except where he lives and I'm definitely not telling you." 

Haruna deflates. Then reflates and points accusingly at Kyoji, "Why're you hanging out with him anyways! I'm gonna tell Minori-san! I already claimed Hayato, you can't have him."

"I'm pretty sure Minori-san also knows Akiyama, though?" Kyoji counters nonchalantly, making Haruna gasp, because he could imagine Kyoji betraying him but _Minori-san oh god how could you_ , "I just met him at an arcade I go to on my off days. Sometimes we hang out? And he borrows games sometimes…? I don't know, uh…"

Sora steps in, then, saving Kyoji from being bombarded with more questions, "Isn't it more fun to find this information out yourself, Haruna-kun?"

Sora's right, as always, but it doesn't get rid of the excitement to know everything about Hayato right this second. He has so much energy, suddenly. He feels impulsive as well, which is incredibly dangerous for him. There's nothing stopping him from running out after Hayato and talking at him for like an hour straight except his dignity, and that's not even really enough to stop him from considering it. 

He sighs and puts his head in his hands, "I'm so stupid…"

Sora and Kyoji both nod comfortingly, or maybe in agreement, Haruna has no idea. Kyoji pats him on the head and Haruna is infinitely comforted by it, because he's touch-starved like _hell_ , "Good luck, bro."

Neither of them are half as comforting when he's still pining endlessly and _loudly_ over Hayato a week later, though.

Haruna's sitting on the counter and gesturing empathically with his hands, "I haven't even seen him since last week, Sora-san, what if he made a mistake and we don't actually go to the same school? I'd switch schools for him if he asked, no lie. Oh, and also-"

Sora glances upwards at him and flips the page in his book, which is the smallest indication that he's still listening that he could possibly give, but it's enough for Haruna. He's already exhausted Kyoji and Minori's interest in his blossoming youthful love, and it's not like he can talk to his _mom_ about a _boy crush_ . Or a girl crush, really, but _still_.

His crisis somehow ends up being the only thing he can talk about at work, the only thing he thinks about at school, and his mind ends up wandering back to Hayato every night at home even if he tries to focus on other things. He even stayed after school a little late two times now, to see if he could spot his crush, with no results. It's draining him, and he can feel himself start to get stressed, even if he's pretty sure he's still acting normal on the outside.

His previous relationships didn't even interest him this much, and he's said maybe ten words to the guy. Hayato was just so _kind_ and _welcoming_ , in a genuine way that Haruna usually gets picked on for expressing. He's mellowed out since his first year and tries to be as carefree as possible, but seeing someone so unabashedly _friendly_ made something inside of him melt. He feels like a weak point of his has been taken advantage of.

Even if he doesn't know anything about him, he _wants_ to. He wants to become friends at least, which is kind of even more pathetic if he just wants to be friends with somebody this bad. But this train of thought is quickly depressing him, so he does a 180 into another topic. 

"What was it like when you and Kazuki-san started dating?" poking Sora for more information is one of Haruna's favorite pastimes, and poking him for information about his _boyfriend_ always gets interesting results. Even if it makes him feel… incredibly single. 

Besides, they've been together for a while, way before Haruna knew Sora, so this could actually be interesting and a chance for him to get more relationship advice, so it's a win-win situation. Even if it's a double win for him. 

Sora's ears turn red, but his face stays impassive and calm, "Nothing like what you're going through right now, I assure you." 

That's… fair. Both Sora and Kazuki give off a very chill vibe; Haruna can't imagine either of them freaking out about having a crush loudly to everybody they came in contact with like he's doing. Or even being openly and madly in love with your crush but somehow never confessing, like what seems to be Kyoji's plan of choice.

Interesting, it's all very interesting. 

He's beginning to come to the conclusion that he's the most normal one here.

"This suuucks," he whines, then popping up again to call out a 'welcome!' to a grandma entering the store. He deflates again when she ignores him completely, resting his cheek on the cold counter, "I miss him…"

"You barely met him, Haruna-kun."

"Yeah, but, I just really get such a good vibe from him, yanno?" Haruna pushes back. He can feel his own cheeks heat up when talking about this, but it's such a rare feeling for him that he welcomes it, "It doesn't even gotta be romantic, really. You ever just feel like you'd vibe with somebody so hard? I wanna, like, properly meet him and become friends and.... like, I don't know. Court him, or something. You know?"

Understanding floods Sora's eyes even with Haruna's disorganized answer, like he knows what Haruna means on a deeper level than just feeling for his friend, "I know exactly what you mean."

Haruna feels like he's almost unlocked a hidden part of Sora's life, but also really doesn't want to pry in on an incredibly private person's love life when he's probably unwelcome in that area. Sora looks happy, though, and it makes Haruna happy, too, because everybody deserves somebody that makes them feel like that. Including him, which he's _working on_. 

His mind is wandering again, though, which is the opposite of what he needs to be doing right now. He's got customers to ignore and coworkers to annoy, after all! And more importantly, he's got a crush to pine over, which has taken up most of his energy for the past week anyways and he has got to get back to it, no slacking allowed.

He considers his coworker for a second longer out of the corner of his eye before clapping his hands together loudly, making both Sora and their one customer jump. He can feel the double glares on his face when he announces, "You know what? I'm gonna go ask Kyoji-san for advice!"

"You're going to ask _Kyoji-san_ for advice on how to ask someone out?"

Fuck, he's right.

"Fuck, you're right."

It's quiet for the rest of the night, after that, and the silence gives Haruna a lot of time to think. 

Way too much time to think, actually. When the time to clock out finally comes around, he's… not really in the mood to talk at all. There's so much running around in his mind, he doesn't feel at all qualified to even begin sifting through them in a productive manner. Maybe he's just too stupid for his own good, but his mood going from 100 to 0 in just a few hours has left him pretty drained. Even more than usual after a full day of school and work, anyways.

Sora and Kyoji give him twin concerned looks when he says he's not going to walk to the station with them tonight. He makes up something about being tired and taking a shortcut, but he knows he's not going home anytime soon, not while he feels like this. Kyoji furrows his brows and says that he'll text him later, and he better reply or _else_ . Kyoji's, like, literally the least threatening person in the world but Haruna agrees anyways to stop him from worrying _too_ much.

He knows it's out of character for him to be like this, all reclusive and wanting alone time, especially after he's been so excitable the past week. _Especially_ since he's been trying _so_ hard this school year to not make his mom worry and be good and earn money and actually try to _try_ but now he's just… tired. And has a crush. On somebody he's barely talked to. He's doing fine, really, but he just needs an hour or three to just be by himself and map out his thoughts. 

He shoves his hands into his pockets and breathes in the cold, night air with a deep sigh. If he's honest with himself, the real reason he couldn't walk with Sora and Kyoji to the station was because he couldn't stand to see his coworkers with their... love interests right now. Not when he was already feeling kind of upset about it anyways, he doesn't think he could handle being a fifth wheel right now. 

Since they worked on the same street and always closed at the same time, they usually stopped by the florists' to pick up Minori to walk to the station with. And then when they got there, usually Kazuki would be waiting for Sora on the way home from his own job. It's usually fine, because Kyoji and Minori aren't actually dating, he doesn't think, and Sora and Kazuki are so private that he wouldn't even _know_ they've been dating forever if he hadn't strong armed the info from Sora.

Usually, it's fine and it's great and he really does like his coworkers, but right now he thinks he'll literally explode with jealousy if he has to see people who actually get to, like, talk to the person they like.

He doesn't even remember the last time he was _jealous_ about something. It's jarring.

He passes an old man smoking on the steps outside of an apartment building he's never seen before. It must be new. He sighs again, frigid air stinging his lungs. 

He hasn't been on a walk like this in a while, mainly because it freaks his mom the hell out when he's not home the very second he's supposed to be. Last year, he used to do this pretty much every night. Never get into trouble or do anything bad, but just to get some alone time.

Just walk around until three, four in the morning and then return home and eat a cold dinner and fitfully sleep for three hours until he had to get up for school. He eventually just got tired of going at all and that led to him failing the entire grade. Which sucked, tremendously. 

He fixed up his act, he's doing so much better now, he's not even half as bad as he used to be, but. He thinks he can allow himself a little teenage angst. Just a little.

A text makes his phone vibrate in his back pocket and it's either his mom or Kyoji, and he doesn't know which is worse. He coolly ignores it and kicks a pebble down a nearby drain. He won't stay out long, he just needs to devise a plan. To deal with his boy crush. He's got to; he can't live the rest of his life pining away after somebody. He's not _Kyoji_.

Right now, his biggest problem is that he can't make a move on his crush if he can't _find_ his crush. It's been exactly one week, and Haruna hasn't seen Hayato since they first met. Haruna's been so good, going to school every single day, and he was only late twice last week, both times less than 2 hours, so really. He's practically valedictorian. 

It's not like he's a delinquent or anything, but he could feel eyes on him throughout the whole week and the whispers about how 'Oh, Wakazato-kun is actually here today!' makes him feel itchy. He's not uncomfortable with the attention being on him, he just wishes people wouldn't make such a big deal about him just doing what he's supposed to be doing. It makes him feel like the worst is just… expected of him.

The only motivation he can even find to go in is the possibility of seeing Hayato again, but every day that goes past, he feels more and more hopeless. He should just ask Kyoji for his number, that would probably work. But that would also probably make him look desperate, which would be bad.

Even if he kind of is. 

Hayato's really good-looking, and super nice, and probably has lots of friends. Maybe he's in a band, since he carries that guitar around. Maybe he already has a boyfriend. Or a girlfriend, which Haruna shivers at, but he feels like Kyoji would've definitely told him if that was something he'd have to worry about. Ugh.

Walking down the streets of tiny apartments and little suburbs is extremely calming, and after about an hour, his mind was clear. It was near midnight, probably, but his phone hadn't dinged again and the clamminess from his hands being clenched into fists in his pockets was almost completely gone. 

He hadn't quite come up with a great plan to woo Hayato and pass high school and not get fired from his job, but the edge of misplaced sadness that was a heavy stone in his chest before had also dissipated. There were still a few people awake at this time; lights on in windows, a lady pulling her plants inside before she went to bed, a radio playing a song he half-recognized sitting on someone's front steps. 

It's comforting, knowing he's not alone. He brings his head up from staring at the ground in front of him and lets a smile fall naturally on his face. Haruna's problems aren't magically solved or anything and there's some still bugging him at the back of his mind, but he somehow feels much better after just calming himself down.

Even if he was meant to die alone and never talk to Hayato ever again and also repeat 11th grade 50 times, then whatever. Fate can guide him however it likes, he'll be fine. Haruna prides himself on being calm and easygoing; fun to be around and nice to a fault. Those things won't change, no matter what happens.

The grass thins out a little near the road and he can hear his own footsteps on the concrete. He's lost enough in his own thoughts that the sound of gentle music in the distance snaps him out of whatever bubble he's in and it makes him realize he's wandered further from his house than he thought. He… should really head home soon. Getting his thoughts gathered and mind clear were Haruna's goal for this little outing and he'd more or less achieved that, so it was time to return to the actual world where things like responsibilities and curfews were holding him back.

He was fine, really, for real. Fate could be his guiding light. He'll ride life like a wave; just let himself be pulled along until something catches him.

A shiver runs down his back through the thin jacket he brought with him to school that day, and he _should_ be turning on his heel to go back to the tiny station he'd walked past 20 minutes ago, but there was just one thing keeping him from doing so. The music that he'd heard in the distance before suddenly wasn't quite as... in the distance as it had been. 

Okay, fine. He'll go check out whatever it is and _then_ head home. It's probably just someone's radio they left playing on their front porch or something again, but the music itself is so gentle and simple that, before he knows it, he's following the sound until he can pick out that it's a simple acoustic guitar and it's… definitely not playing off of a radio.

Haruna's curiosity is fully captured, and he walks along a sun-bleached fence until he's almost right next to the source. There's nothing to be scared of and there's no reason to falter as he walks around the fence to take a look at where sounds' coming from, so he just steps right behind the fence and right in front of the source of the gentle melody without any hesitation. 

Holy fuck.

_It's Hayato._

He should've hesitated, oh shit, _he should've hesitated_. Hayato's sitting in his driveway with bare feet crossed in front of him and an oversized Godzilla t-shirt exposing his collarbone that Haruna's eyes catch on. He's holding the same acoustic guitar as the day Haruna first saw him, but from less than ten feet away, he can almost see the little scratches and soft wood on the guitar from being incredibly well-loved and even Hayato's fingers poised to make a C chord. He can feel his own jaw drop in a slight panic before desperately trying to mush it down and maybe act like he isn't equal parts terrified and delighted to see him.

It's undeniably Hayato, he would recognize the hair and the guitar and the _smile_ that immediately blooms when he and Haruna make eye contact anywhere. Hayato's fingers pause on the strings and he tilts his head to the side, "Oh, Haruna-kun, right? What are you doing here...?"

It's a fair question, one Haruna would probably ask himself, and he's still too alarmed to come up with a cool lie so he tells the truth, "I was on a walk and heard your music and I just, kinda followed it, so… Uh."

Alright, he definitely should've tried to come up with a cool lie. His heart is pounding, but he forces his body to relax into a more natural position. Hayato furrows his brows like he's wondering why Haruna would be taking a walk when it's pitch black outside before he realizes what Haruna actually said, "I-I'm just messing around! I wouldn't really call this music, I mean…"

His gesturing makes him almost drop the guitar out of his lap and he scrambles to hold it tight again. He's _cute_. 

A thought from before pops into his mind, suddenly. _Fate._ If it was fate that just led him to this spot, all alone with his crush after a week of not seeing him and while said crush was wearing cute non-school uniform clothes and playing his guitar, Haruna was not going to take this for granted. There's still nervousness making his chest tight, but it's light and manageable compared to the anxiety from before.

He's still nervous as hell, though. Haruna taps his toe on the ground to let out some excess energy, "What brings _you_ out here? Seems sad to play for no audience, don'tcha think?"

Hayato pushes a strand of hair behind his ear and smiles up at him, "I guess, a little? I have you with me now, though."

Haruna almost falls to his knees. 

That was flirting, right? That _had_ to be. Right? Or is Haruna just reading everything he says as teasing or flirty because he desperately wants it to be? Is he even alive? Holy shit. "I must be lucky to get a private concert, then."

The high part of Hayato's cheeks are red and he clears his throat, refusing to meet Haruna's eyes anymore, "Then it's my first concert, so you better appreciate it," he laughs shyly, "But I'm not just out here for fun, my cat hasn't eaten her dinner yet and sometimes she comes back if I play her favorite song."

It's not at all the answer Haruna was expecting and it startles a laugh out of him. He can feel the tension in his muscles drain out into the atmosphere, and he quickly goes from wanting to sprint in the other direction and hide from the feeling blooming in his chest to wanting to set up camp and live right here with Hayato playing guitar to him for the rest of forever. It's dramatic, but this is the first time he's been so into someone probably _ever_ and he's not sure how to go about it.

Luckily, he doesn't have time to worry about it, because hanging out with Hayato is awesome. They're just sitting in his driveway and talking and it's so easy and simple. Haruna doesn't even remember the last time he laughed this much or clicked with somebody so fast. His friends from school are fine, and Kyoji and Sora are really cool, but this is something completely different.

Even if Haruna _wasn't_ super into him, it's incredibly therapuetic to just fuck around and laugh and make a new friend. It's just a coincidence Haruna happens to also think Hayato's really adorable.

"Bro, it's past 1 in the morning. We gotta be at school in like six hours, isn't that crazy," Haruna hummed, leaning back on his palms, not even caring that it makes the gravelly concrete dig into his hands uncomfortably because it gives him a perfect clear view of Hayato.

"Wait, is it really that late?!" Hayato scrambled up on his knees and tapped at his phone screen to confirm, "I didn't realize I stayed so late at school, aw man."

Haruna grabs the opportunity with no hesitation, "Oh yeah, I haven't seen you in a while at school," _not that I was looking or anything,_ "Where've you been?" 

Hayato plops back down, hugging his guitar to his chest again, "Oh, um, I've had supplementary classes since I'm kinda, uh, failing two subjects right now."

A man after Haruna's own heart, then. Hayato continues, "And since I've been staying late for school stuff, I've also just been sneaking back to the light music club's practice room to actually play my guitar for a while."

"You're in the light music club?" It would make sense, and also be super hot if Hayato was actually in a band. Haruna has a split, life changing moment imagining what it would be like to kiss him backstage at a real rock concert.

"Yep! I'm the only member, though." he positions his thin fingers to play another chord that Haruna doesn't recognize, "There used to be a girl who played the trumpet with me but she transferred to the actual band, heh."

Haruna's eyes are stuck on how Hayato's hands look wrapped around the neck of the guitar, "Why do you stay so late, then?" Haruna can't imagine staying at school even a second longer than he has to; the past week excluded, of course.

"School has actual amps and extra picks and stuff I can't afford by myself, I guess? Also it's just something to do, so I don't just come back here after school and do nothing by myself, you know?"

Haruna _knows_. He knows so well, and he's getting used to the feeling he and Hayato are more alike than he'd originally imagined. He nods like his train of thought isn't going down a thousand different tracks, "I can respect that, totally."

Hayato stretches his arms above his head and a little bit of tummy shows which Haruna does his _very_ best to not stare at, honestly, and smiles directly at Haruna, "Well, like you said, it's really late and I'm probably being boring, so-"

"You're not boring!" Haruna blurts out loudly, very much not a fan of Hayato putting himself down. 

Hayato jumps in surprise, "Oh! Um. I think I might kind of be, a little? It's okay, though!"

"I don't think you're boring at all," _too honest, too honest,_ "I think you're, like, the least boring person I know."

They make eye contact and hold it for a few seconds, Hayato's eyes warm on Haruna's skin despite the temperature outside. He doesn't want the moment to end, he wants to stay here all night and all day tomorrow, just learning more and more and more about Hayato. He's so nice, and humble, and cute, and if it was fate he was relying on, then it surely had to be the same fate that brought them together tonight, right? Right? 

Hayato clears his throat and averts his eyes shyly. The tops of his cheekbones are pink and it's so endearing he can't stand it. Haruna wants to lean over and kiss him there, just to see if they turn even pinker.

It's the most innocent daydream he thinks he's ever had, but he can feel his own face warm up at the thought. 

But it _is_ late and his eyes _are_ getting droopy, so he really should be leaving soon. He shifts up on his knees before pushing himself off the ground, wiping dirt from his pants in the most casual way he possibly can and then shoving his hands in his pockets so he doesn't play with them nervously. Hayato also stands, much more gracefully, after putting his guitar in its case carefully. 

Haruna's about to say bye and thanks and then get the hell out of there, but there's just one last thing, "Is it alright if your cat didn't come back? I mean, we sat here all this time, but…"

"Oh!" Hayato exclaims, like he just remembered that was the reason he was sitting outside for three hours, "She's not really, um, my cat? She's a stray, I think, and I just leave food out for her, and when I got home tonight the bowl was still full, so got worried, I-"

He plays with his fingers in front of him and starts talking a little quieter. Haruna hangs onto every word Hayato says, "Someone probably took her in or she ate somewhere else tonight...I was actually gonna go inside right before you joined me. Um…"

Hayato trails off. Haruna's doing everything in his power to not show that he's freaking out. Hayato stayed outside for _him_ , and as giddy as that thought makes him, he replies, "Sorry, I kinda ended up distracting you, didn't I?"

"Just a little," Hayato laughs, "I had fun, though. I'm glad we got to see each other again!"

Haruna's heart is pounding. This is him, shooting his shoot, here he goes, "If it's alright, could we, like, trade numbers? So we could hang out again, maybe? Like this, just not past midnight, heh. Or maybe still after midnight, if that's what you're into, because I could be into that too, but-"

He's interrupted by Hayato laughing at him, which he's not even mad about, because _cute_. Hayato looks so happy, cheeks still pink but not at all shy when he answers, "Of course!"

Walking home after that, with his crush's number sharpied onto his right hand in big block lettering and his heart still pounding with excitement, Haruna feels like he should open a dictionary for the first time in his life and look up a synonym for 'happy', because his own limited vocabulary doesn't do how he feels justice.

He feels like he could run ten miles and do a backflip off a roof or pick up a car; there's so much energy running through his veins despite the time his phone displays before he shoves his bedroom window from the outside and sneaks in like he's done a hundred times. 

He kicks his shoes off and lets himself fall backwards onto his bed, pulling his phone out of his pocket at the same time. Haruna doesn't even have to look at the numbers written on his hand to type them into his phone, he's been staring at them since he left Hayato after all, but he does take a second to close his eyes and remember how it felt when Hayato was holding Haruna's hand steady to write his number down.

Even the memory of it makes him shiver.

He needs like two weeks to fully process everything that happened tonight. He needs to take a goddamn sabbatical or something, or maybe not, since he doesn't really know what that word means, but he feels like he just progressed three whole chapters in the story of his life. Actually properly talking to his first real crush, and then hanging out with him, and then acquiring his number? 

Haruna's better at this sort of thing than he'd thought.

He shoots a quick "I'm not dead" text at Kyoji and a "I'm home mama" text to his mom, both of which immediately get replies. He gets a "I heard. Get some sleep hon" from his mom which makes him feel like a bad son for probably waking her up and definitely worrying her, but the feeling goes away when he reads the "We were already planning your funeral." message from Kyoji, which is highly unappreciated. 

He's got better people to text, though, and he happily thumbs Hayato's number into his contacts and opens up a new message to him.

Haruna: hey it's Haruna! Sorry for keeping you up tonight ww let's hang out soon. At a normal hour lol

Haruna lays back on his bed and tries his very best to not smile like an idiot at his ceiling. 

He's not really expecting a reply, since Hayato did look super tired (cute) when he left a while ago, but when his phone buzzes, he jumps and promptly drops his phone on his face.

Hayato: hi hi!! when ive gotten some sleep and can think again lets decide on a time and place ok!! thanks for keeping me company tonight haruna-kun c: goodnight~

Haruna has to remind himself to breathe.

Hayato sent a sticker of a sleeping Pokemon under his message. Haruna thinks it's called Fennekin. Even the way Hayato texts is cute, Haruna notes diligently, after making sure his nose wasn't bleeding from being attacked by his phone. He's already in so deep… he's not sure how it happened so fast, but he already likes Hayato _so_ much.

Nonetheless, he's going to be careful. He's going to be patient and calm, and not be heartbroken if Hayato ends up being weird or, worse, _straight_. Haruna will be fine, really. He's going to allow himself this happiness and just let it take him wherever it wants.

Leaving this up to fate has already brought him great results, and the warm, gooey feeling in his heart is much different and much more welcome than the loneliness and stress that's been clouding him the whole school year. 

_I can't wait to brag about this to Sora and Kyoji_ , is the last thing that runs through his mind before he falls asleep.

The next day (the same day?) Haruna wakes up incredibly chipper for someone who got about two and a half hours of sleep. He takes a second to pull on his lucky donut socks and gives his mom a "sorry I'm the worst son in the world" kiss on the cheek before running out the door. Staying late to wait for Hayato is out of the question because of his stupid job, so his only option is to get to school as early as possible to try and catch Hayato before class. 

It's the earliest he's ever been awake without having just pulled an allnighter, probably. He gets to school at the same time as people who actually care about school, which is truly wild. Having a crush has poisoned his brain, he decides, leaning against the fence near the front entrance as nonchalantly as possible, like he definitely didn't get here an hour early to wait for his _crush_ . His _boy_ crush. Whose number he has in his phone _right now_. 

Haruna has to hide his grin in his sleeve.

It's less than thirty minutes of ignoring the weird looks he's getting and anxiously tapping his foot on the ground before he finally spots Hayato. His hair is slightly messy and he's yawning, and Haruna immediately knows that it's his fault for keeping him up late. He's going to feel bad, he can feel the guilt crawling up his chest, but then Hayato's eyes light up when they land on Haruna and every bad feeling he's ever felt goes away instantly.

Hayato jogs to close the short distance between them and smiles up at Haruna, and Haruna's entire mind starts whirring immediately. _This is the closest we've ever been, he's so much shorter than me, would it be weird to hug him right now, his smile is so bright what the fuck, oh God he's so cute._

Haruna's _broken_ and it only gets worse when Hayato beams and says "Haruna-kun!", by far the happiest anybody has ever said his name in his entire life. Hayato turns to pull something out of the side pocket on his bag and then holds it out to Haruna proudly, "You forgot to take back your sharpie last night! Or, uh earlier today, I guess... I think I just kept it after I wrote down my number? Anyways, I'm returning it now! Here ya go!"

His undereyes are still a little dark from staying up late, the same way Haruna's probably are but he seems genuinely happy to see him. Maybe even as happy as Haruna is to see him, which is the only thing keeping him going right now.

Haruna takes the sharpie, and it's warm from where Hayato was holding it. His brain short circuits or something, because that's the only excuse for what he says next, "You're literally the nicest person I've ever met."

Hayato laughs like it's not a weird thing to say to someone you met a week ago, and Haruna thanks every deity he can think of for that. Haruna mentally slaps himself. He needs to get his head in this, he needs to _focus_.

"Do you wanna hang out on Thursday after school? Or Friday? Those are the days I don't work, but if you can't do those days that's fine too, cuz I can just make Kyoji-san cover my shifts but…"

Hayato giggles and doesn’t look hesitant at all when answering, "Poor Kyoji-san… Thursday works for me, though! You can come over my place, if that’s alright? Since you already know where it is, haha." 

_Score._

He's feeling downright euphoric the rest of the day. 

Even just the very idea of having something to look forward to is making his whole body zing with excitement. The past few months have been… pretty bad, so this bright light in the distance to chase after feels like the sun after a thunderstorm. He knows if he runs headfirst into this brightness, his chance of getting burned is pretty high. He _knows_ that, but doing anything but letting himself trust and innocently run as fast as he can into this is the only thing that feels right. 

He's been weirdly jaded this entire school year; maybe he was just forced to grow up too fast or was super depressed because he sucks at school or something, but it suddenly feels like he was pulled back a chapter in his life. Like time rewound itself and is giving him another opportunity to have fun like he probably should be having in high school. Like fate said "You know what, Haruna, I'll let you enjoy this one thing" and he's _so_ grateful.

Fate must _really_ be on his side, though, because Haruna didn't even get a _peek_ at Hayato during school hours (or any hours, for that matter) for an entire week, but today, by some force of nature, he's been seeing him every time he leaves his classroom.

He goes to the bathroom during class and they pass by each other in the hallway when Hayato's on his way to the gym with one of his classmates, and Haruna gets to unlock a new Hayato outfit in his mind after greeting each other quickly. Hayato in a soft-looking gym t-shirt isn't quite as cute as the oversized Godzilla shirt from last night, but it's amazing in its own right. Haruna can't stop thinking about it for the rest of the day.

Or at least until they see each other again at lunch, Haruna eating with his usual crowd and pretending to listen to his classmate's story about his sister when he feels eyes on him and looks across the cafeteria to just catch the end-tail of Hayato hurriedly looking away like he didn't mean to be caught. And _again_ when the bell rings at the end of the day and Haruna's booking it out of class to make it to work on time and he just barely is able to skid to a stop fast enough to keep from running into Hayato when they both round the corner at the same time. 

It's like that every day for the rest of the week, too, which has Haruna constantly ready for whatever encounter they'll stumble on next.

It becomes a part of his routine over the next few days. Wake up, get to school hella early to see if he can sneak in a little one-on-one time with Hayato, get nothing during class, maybe run into Hayato twice throughout the day, think how about great it would be if he could work up the nerve to ask Hayato if he wants to eat lunch with him, then run to work after school and talk Kyoji's ear off about whatever interaction they had that day, and then text Hayato about nothing until two in the morning. Rinse and repeat, it's like a cycle Haruna never gets tired of.

If he's honest, he's worried that falling into another routine will just make him bored with everything again. It's what's happened with the boredom of last year, his previous relationship, pretty much everything bad that's happened to him, actually. He just gets bored so fast, if he was even interested in the first place, so circling around each other like they've been doing is pretty addicting.

The shy smiles, the pink cheeks, that cute excited look Hayato gets even if it's the third time they've made eye contact that day, the little heart emoji that Haruna spends an hour psyching himself up to send. It's all so genuinely _fun_ and explosive, it's like the youth that he'd just skipped right over trying to take care of his mom and get a job and get serious about school was backtracking and allowing Haruna to just take a day or two or ten to have real, actual fun.

Maybe it's the incentive to go to school to see the boy he likes that's caused a domino effect of overall contentment with his life. He hasn't been late in a whole two weeks, he's been getting homework done just because it's an excuse to text Hayato to ask about it, even at work he's more chipper and brighteyed, simply because he's sleeping better at night since he's not up worrying or going on midnight walks anymore. Maybe he never should've underestimated the force of _belonging to something_ or _the power of companionship_ or any of the other things that he never thought were that important before, but whichever it is, it's completely changed his outlook. Even now, in bed, he feels like he fits into the mattress and comforter better, like his body is meant to sink into it and get proper _rest_ like he wasn't getting before.

He feels like he fits into his own _life_ better than even a month ago.

He throws an arm over his eyes in the darkness of his room, kicking his blanket under his legs at the same time to get in his favorite sleeping position. With his sense of sight taken away, he's suddenly aware of the lingering smile on his face all the way from the last time he saw Hayato, hours ago.

His eyes are heavy enough that it’s too much effort to try and stay awake after he's already sent goodnight texts to Hayato, but his own secret grin sticks to his mind right before he falls asleep. He doesn't even remember the last time he was able to smile so naturally and unthinkingly. He'd probably get teased for being so infatuated if anybody knew he was so happy just _thinking_ about his crush, but.

No one has to know but him.

**Author's Note:**

> possibly the most selfish thing ive ever written haha :') i hope anybody got some enjoyment out of it!! i wrote this in my junior year of high school, right after the sideM anime was announced, so it took some tweaking to get right but im overall happy with the end result! the struggle is real when you have to deal with fulltime school and fulltime jobs at the same time at such a young age, so i applaud our dear harunacchi for being so strong... i love him....
> 
> thanks so much for reading this far, i truly appreciate it! please please leave a comment and tell me what you thought! (and let me know if youd be interested in a followup from hayatos perspective ^^)


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